The 5 Fictional Characters Interviewing for NFL Head Coaching Jobs
And which Roy sibling will buy a team?
1. Roman Roy (Succession)
After a crushing loss at the end of last season, Roman Roy will be looking to explore all options this offseason. He has the confidence, charisma, and wit to turn a team around, and organizations are going to love his experience in leading an evil media conglomerate. Oh, and if he doesn’t end up getting a head coaching role, he’ll just buy a team.
Most likely destination: Las Vegas: He will wake up having purchased the Raiders.
2. Stefon (SNL)
New York’s hottest club is the Giants’ interview room. The organization has been through a lot of head coaches since Tom Coughlin. They’ve had everybody…Ben McAdoo, Pat Shurmur, Joe Judge…Spudd Webb? New York is a city unlike any other and handling the media pressure that comes with being the head coach is a major aspect of the job. No one knows New York better than Stefon, and the Giants love what he could bring to the organization.
Most likely destination: New York: In a nightclub after turning down millions to coach the Giants. He definitely doesn’t know what football is.
3. Andy Reid’s mustache (Andy Reid’s face)
NFL insiders are wondering if this is the offseason that Andy Reid’s mustache finally emerges from the shadow of Andy Reid’s brow. These nose tassels have shown brilliant command of the lower half of Any Reid’s face, and spent years under one of the best minds in football. Andy Reid has brought the Chiefs unbelievable success and Ted Lasso has proven that great leadership transcends sport, leaving teams wondering if the key to success is a mustache and…crucially…can a mustache do it alone. We think some teams are interested in finding out.
Most likely destination: Jacksonville: The Jags will be chomping at the bit to pair up Andy Reid’s mustache with Trevor Lawrence’s golden locks in what will be known as “The Greatest Flow in Jacksonville”.
4. Coach Beard (Ted Lasso)
The tactical genius behind AFC Richmond’s promotion, Coach Beard has generated some buzz this offseason on this side of the pond with multiple teams expressing interest in him as a head coaching candidate. Coach Beard has the even-keeled demeanor that would bring order to a chaotic organization and access to the biscuit recipe that would bring happiness to a hard-to-please front office. With proven success in both versions of football, all eyes are on him to become the second assistant from AFC Richmond to step into the spotlight, but it would have to be a tempting offer to bring him away from another shot at Premier League opponents.
Most likely destination: AFC Richmond: This Diamond Dog is staying in the den.
5. Lucy (Peanuts)
NFL head coaches seem to be getting younger and younger and the average age may fall drastically if this special teams expert gets a shot at taking over a locker room. With a proven ability to motivate players, Lucy speaks her mind and gets maximum effort out of her squad. Teams are interested in bringing in someone who can relate to their younger players and she definitely fits the bill.
Most likely destination: Chicago: The Bears have played Thanksgiving games in 3 of the last 4 years making Chicago an obvious fit.
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